How far does good behavior take you in a prison?
10.06.2025 11:14
Later that day, a woman in green stripped scrubs came up to my window pounding on it saying, “Hi!”. She had a wild and excited look on her face, but it was not alarming. Her name was Stephanie, and she told me everything I needed to know. She informed me that I was in the psyche ward, that we get 2 hours of recreational time a day — 1 person at a time. There are 2 psyche wards: A side and B side. We were in A side. She let me know that the psyche ward was great because we got our own cells, we could be as loud as we want to be, the officers leave us alone, we get to eat in our cells, we can visit each other during rec time, or just plain old yell-talk if we want to. There were only 6 women on the A side. B side had about 10 women, (I think I was on the more insane side, the A side, TBH).
I was ready to go in that day, I had taken my anti anxiety medicine to make me loopy because I knew I wouldn't go in that day if I were sober. I barely remember the hearing. I remember saying “Yes!” enthusiastically, to the judge's inquiry if I would like to start today. They slapped the handcuffs on, and panic set in! “Wait wait", I said, “Don't I get a smoke before I go? I mean, I am going willingly". The honorable judge flatly said, “No”. I thought, “Crap. What the heck did I agree to?”
I also got other perks for being a good inmate, like I was able to bend the rules. I was allowed to have extra clothes, have the trustees bring me things to my door (like hot water to cook ramen during lockdown), have more property than allowed, not have my cell tossed, given the best big towels - 2 of them at that, the newer unstained jail clothes, a huge laundry bag, etc.
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Pretty far. Now my experience was in county jail, a county that is in the top 10 most populated counties in the USA. Suffice it say, it's a pretty big county jail.
The chaplains were super nice as well! They even brought my a present in my birthday. They gave me a book that they knew I would love. They signed it from the Snohomish County Jail Chaplains office. I couldn't believe it!
I no longer had my cell tossed because I was a model inmate and had such a clean and tidy cell. I remember when it was toss the cell day to check for contraband, I was not looking forward to picking all my items up off the floor and reorganizing everything. The cell next to mine was being tossed and they took this girls mattress, bedding, clothes, food, books, everything and chucked it all over the catwalk on the ground. They searched her cell, then told her to pick it all up. The officer doing the cell toss was a super grumpy and kind of mean guard, well when she got to my cell door, she opened it, looked in as I stepped aside to allow her in to toss it, she said, “why does it smell so good in here?”, I replied, “I don't know, maybe it's my hot chocolate?”. She looked at my boxers I had on with a button on them, she said, “ you know you're not allowed buttons or zippers right”? I was like, “oh my gosh! Ok, no problem, let me just rip it off and you can have the button. Please don't take my boxers as I only have 2 pairs”. She rolled her eyes and was like, “don't worry about it. Also, why do you have so many clothes in here”?! I shrugged. She said “whatever” and went onto the next cell. I couldn't believe it. She was a no nonsense guard and she had major RBF.
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A few hours later, dinner was shoved through a hole in the door. I was tearing up by this point because, to me, this signified that I was never going to be let out of this cell. I will have to sit in this cell, with no interaction with anyone, and be fed through a hole in the door. I'm just a filthy criminal that society doesn't care about. Lock me up and throw away the key. I had nothing that was mine, I had 1 book - the bible, and I felt completely abandoned.
I went to court May 23rd for my sentencing hearing for X6 felonies of trafficking stolen pew pews in the 1st degree. Luckily the judge was really nice and with my relatively small record, he only slapped me with a 6 month sentence, instead of the max 14 months (my sentencing range was 0 to 14 months — per charge).
If I would have been a rude, eye-rolling, disobedient A hole, there is no way I would have been given such grace by the guards. I saw them snap a lot of people in 2 for small infractions, so I could imagine how hellish my time would have been if I had been attitudinal with them.
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I changed out of my county greens, squeezed into my size 0 pants that no longer fit me, and drug my 2 giant garbage bags worth of property out the side exit door and ran and jumped into my boyfriend's arms. It felt so good to see the sky again! It felt amazing to have a cigarette again. I never got over smoking. Even with 4 months under my belt of no smokes, it's all I wanted to do everyday.
As I was being led to my new home for the next 6 months, by a sheriff holding onto my handcuffs, which were securely locked onto my wrists, I thought, “Where am I… …looks like some kind of underground tunnel”. I asked the sheriff as much, he laughed and told me not to worry. I don't remember anything after that.
It was quiet, the rules in the psyche ward were super relaxed and we were left alone. I learned a lot about jail life and the unspoken rules of the do’s and don't’s in jail. After 4 weeks, they made me go back into general population; by this point I had calmed down, learned how things worked, such as being respectful to the guards, keeping a clean cell (which I did anyways), will get you far more favorable interactions with the guards. So I did just that. Since I was respectful to the guards and followed rules I was given some perks, like I was allowed to keep my 23 pieces of personal clothing (which is way above the 9 allowed). I was able to keep my boxer shorts with the button on them.
I woke up the next morning in my cell with an older woman who talked a lot. I thought, “OMG, what did I agree too? I am not ready for this. Look at all these women…they are just chillin', relaxing, laughing, talking, acting like this is normal. Also, what is this?! They have personal items?” I thought, “How do I get these items the other women have, like cups, spoons, coffee, squeeze cheese? I can't handle this, it's too much.”
I was lead into the cell, then I heard the door slam and lock. I turned around to watch the officer walk down the stairs over to the officers protected desk area, mummer something to this pods officer, and then walk away. I sat there wondering, “well now what? Where am I? Did they just throw me solitary? Did I get in trouble? Am I going to spend my 6 month sentence in this cell by myself?!”
Moral of the story: be kind, respectful, mind your business, don't ask nosy questions, no when to stop pushing the limits, share with people (be mindful regarding this - don't get taken advantage of) and you'll make out pretty well in jail. I've never been to prison, so I cannot comment on how it works there, but I would assume it would be the same guidelines.
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On my release date when the guard came to get me from my cell, he was telling me, “ I have been here for MANY years and I have NEVER seen someone's property be so big! You have 2 lockers full! How long have you been here”? I replied, “4 months”. He said, “I thought you were here for a year or more by looks of your property”. I said, “I am well loved and got a lot of packages and letters”. He replied, “apparently so”!
I had a full on anxiety attack, next thing I know I am being led by a nice officer to somewhere in the building. Away from that loud, busy, giant pod of women serving their time. I was put into a tiny pod of only 15 cells. It was scary, but not as overwhelming as the giant pod of women. It was quiet, and every tiny cell had only 1 bed instead of 2. I was led to the very last cell on the top tier, WAY in the corner by it's lonesome.
After 2 weeks, I had become accustomed to the ways of jail life in the psyche ward. Stephanie and others taught me what was good to buy from the commissary people. I had spent $100.00 on my first order. I got squeeze cheese to spruce up the bland jail meals. I ordered, conditioner, shaving cream, full sized toothbrush and toothpaste, lotion, long sleeve undershirt, long John pants, socks, ramen noodles, pepperoni, coffee, creamer, powdered orange juice and some other crunchy snacks.
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It was pretty quiet, save for me and Stephanie being loud, talking. It was such a relief to know that I had hit the jackpot (jail edition) with a private room - with room service, no wait for the phones, for the showers, for the instant hot water maker, and no officers were IN the pod. No officers being in the pod/room was for their protection, as this was the psyche ward for criminals — how scary!! If the officer on duty sat at the desk/command post they have giant bulletproof windows that viewed into both the A and B side simultaneously.